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PORN AND STRIPPERS!!

NOT!!!

Did you think this was a bachelor party? Come on now!!
= P ~~~

The other day I was browsing Psychology Today and I ran across an article titled “Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Is a Growing Problem” (find any irony in the title?)

The article can be summed up in this quote from the article: “Desperate young men from various cultures, with different levels of education, religiosity, attitudes, values, diets, marijuana use, and personalities are seeking help. They have only two things in common: heavy use of today’s Internet porn and increasing need for more extreme material.”

Basically, what they’re trying to say is that these guys have overstimulated pleasure centers in their brains, which means they need more intense experiences to get aroused.  The article cites information from other publications that confirm the same thing.

I’ve gotten the sense from reading a few articles on this phenomenon that without treatment or avoiding porn, this desensitization could have serious effects on intimate relationships.

Time has also chimed in, claiming that, “…opportunities to satisfy the lust for variety have never been more available — while there is more stress than ever on loving relationships.”

In the end, women end up feeling inadequate and dissatisfied. Men’s use of porn is chalked up to evolutionary biology, and the world continues to turn.

What are the implications here? Should women impose limits on how much porn their partners watch, if it has the potential to affect the relationship? As access to Internet porn increases, will this kind of dysfunction become more common?

I think the answer to the first one is no – I think that when you treat your partner like a misbehaving child, instead of an adult, they will become resentful and angry of you and the relationship.

That said, if a woman notices that her partner is not performing like before, or suspects that he has problems related to watching porn, she has a rigt to bring it up. Ditto if her partner does actually start comparing her to the women he sees in porn. I think that once a man has lost touch with reality at that level, it might be worth it to end the relationship.

Links to related articles here:

http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/09/do-men-really-bond-with-porn-spoiling-them-for-real-life-sex/?xid=huffpo-direct

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-is-growing-problem

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5 Comments

  1. AmazinglyBrash says:

    Porn is about fantasy; when it causes a person to lose focus on reality it is problem. When a person starts to obsess about anything is a problem. Selfishness has become such the norm people are starting to believe its normal. We are born to relate and when our selfish desires hinders connecting, we have to disconnect from what’s causing the disconnection. The reality is people need to understand they have a stronger desire to love than to lust; once they gain that understand, they will gain control of their impulses!!!!

  2. jnonymous81 says:

    Hi Ab, thanks for stopping by. You are the first poster, so here is some cake coming your way!

    Cake!

    I think it’s interesting that you brought up the issue of selfishness, and you really hit on something with your comments. In the time I’ve spent reading about gender stereotypes in the media, I’ve run across some studies suggesting that people turn to porn because it is easier than having a relationship with a living, breathing person. I’ve also read a few studies that suggest that porn, and the actresses in it, are “controllable,” versus a partner who is a human being, and will not go along with everything you do and say. I guess this is where the fantasy aspect comes into it.

    I think this definitely supports what you’re saying about people not connecting, and this ties in with the topic of the post.

  3. My aim is always to promote human connection. We don’t have enough meaningful discussion, which always leaving us empty when people are absent but fearful when they are present. People tend to get defensive when people are truly trying to get to know them. They watch TV, read books, and gossip; anything to take time from actually having a meaningful life changing discussion. Funny, men don’t want a wife that is submissive and sexually expletive; they want a morally driven, wholesome woman that makes them feel like they have someone they can rely on. Men just tend to shop for things they believe they want but will just end up a skeleton in the closet. They need to get more creative and find that spark in the fire they already ignited. Relationships are work but the pay check promises wealth. Read some of my passages on my page and see what you think….comment whether great or bad I love feedback!!!!

  4. jnonymous81 says:

    Again you’ve brought up some interesting points. I have gotten the sense over time that people have more and more issues with self-esteem, and I think it relates back to the constant barrage of images and ideas the media unrealistically portrays. People with low self-esteem don’t want people to get to know them, because they don’t think they have anything worth knowing about.

    I wonder about your comment about men wanting a morally driven woman. I haven’t found that to be the case. In fact, I have found that men actually shy away from women like that, and gravitate to the superficial types who aren’t about anything. I’ve heard this called the “Low Hanging Fruit” theory, where men do not want a truly great woman because they are too insecure, so they chose “lower quality” that won’t generate as much competition from other men. I think the jury is still out on this one.

  5. rzirkle says:

    I think that different men want different types of women. I know many men who are looking for morally driven women. However, in my dating experiences, I have unfortunately come across many men who are looking for the superficial types. I think (and hope) that as people age, they mature and recognize the importance of lasting relationships based on trust and love, not just lust.

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